Musings from our swimming pool

It’s been one hundred and ninety-four days since I have used our swimming pool on Isla Mujeres. The last time I was in our pool was August 28^th — about a week before my love, my life, my universe died on September 3^rd.

Today I poured myself a glass of wine, dangled my feet over the edge and thought about my life — my life as Lawrie’s widow.

It’s a tough job.

He was so well-known, so loved, so happy, and so easy to love that just seeing me brings tears to the eyes of our friends. They don’t know whether to cry, to hug me, to talk about him or to just pretend that life is really fricking lovely. 

It’s okay. Just hug me. I cry every damn day, at least ten or twelve times. I am happy that you remember him with such love.

Many of my male friends are reluctance to speak his name because they are afraid of crying in public.

Well, there is one thing you may not know about my funny, capable, smart, and very tough guy. He cried, and I loved him more for the ability to publicly express his feelings.

The first time I saw him cry was in 1982 when we were watching the original movie ET at the old Stanley Theatre on Granville Street in Vancouver BC. He had tears streaming down his face. 

He never ever felt the need to apologize for his feelings and to me that showed me his strength. He knew he could cope with a lot of shit, and crying in public wasn’t going to diminish his abilities in the slightest.

As one dear friend said, “When I look at you I realize a piece of the puzzle is missing.”

Yep! A huge piece is missing.

The power of grief

July 1st 2017 - before we knew he had ALS

Anyone who has spent any time around Lawrie and I, has heard the stories about our years as volunteer ambulance attendants and firefighters in a small Canadian community similar to Isla Mujeres.

Over time we developed a very black sense of humour about death. 

It was our protection, our coping mechanism. 

When you frequently take friends on their last ride, you need a way to deal with the grief.

“It happens to everyone,” I would say with a shrug.

Lawrie’s favourite was, “no one gets out of life alive.”

It’s what you do when you are a firefighter, an ambulance attendant, a nurse, a doctor, a caregiver, a hospice worker, a police officer, a mortician, an undertaker, a medical examiner, or anyone working with the dead or dying. You cope or you turn to drugs, alcohol, and physical abuse of family members.

Belatedly, after Lawrie’s recent death, I learned how deep the pain can be when you lose your lover, your spouse, your adventure partner and your best friend.

I was very familiar with grief. My dad died when I was seventeen, but our family didn’t talk about it. It was always the undiscussed elephant in the room. My mom died when I was thirty-six. She had been completely miserable since my dad’s death, so in a small way it was a blessing that she didn’t have to suffer any longer.

And now I understand her grief, her anger, her pain.

Every single day I miss Lawrie’s killer-gorgeous smile, his touch, his voice.

I miss his laughter and good humour. He never saw the negative, only the positive. I miss the smell of him. I kept his bottle of d'Issey just so that I can remember.

I miss him cruising around the Soggy Peso bar on Isla Mujeres, at least once a week, regaling the newcomers with his stories of living in paradise. I admit, I had heard the stories a few hundred times and eventually tuned him out. Now, I desperately wish I had a video of the Social Butterfly doing his meet and greet and making newbies feel welcome.

I miss his never-ending need for adventure, and another damn British car. I can’t tell you how many times I cursed the 1971 DBS V8 Aston Martin, nicknamed Ashley, for just stopping with no warning. The engine was so huge the gas would boil out and she would stop. Eventually after she had cooled down, she would consent to continue our journey.

I miss him asking me, “Where are you and Sparky going this morning?” He always wanted to know in case I had a mechanical problem with the golf cart. Sometimes I would respond, “For heaven’s sake, sweetie, it's a five mile long island. I can't get lost.” But he had to know, every single day where I was headed. I really miss someone caring that much about me.

I miss bringing his morning coffee to him in bed for most of those thirty-eight years, and recently being reminded, daily, that he like more caramel syrup drizzled on his coffee than I did.

I miss him noticing that the container of sugar was getting low, and invariably he would ask me, “Do we have more sugar?” He wouldn’t drink his coffee without three teaspoons of sugar.

I miss his company at mealtime, and I even miss his quirky dislike of most vegetables especially broccoli, asparagus and Brussel sprouts.

I miss that he refused to eat foods that started with ‘y’ – because his dad didn’t like them. Think about that one: yoghurt, and yams. That’s all there was in our Canadian food world at that time that started with ‘y’.

I miss listening to his frequent chatty telephone conversations to his son, his grandsons, his sister, his brother, old friends and new friends. He also had weekly conversations with a feisty woman, Edie Parker, whom he has always referred to as his ex-almost-mother-in-law. She is the second wife of his ex-father-in-law. She is healthy, alert, lives in her own home and still drives. She will be ninety-seven on her next birthday. Edie is a little pissed off that Lawrie is gone, and she’s still here.

I miss him teasing his then-teenage-son, John, and later his two grandsons about anything that would make teenage boys squirm and blush.

I miss his company for evening cocktails. I loved it when he could still pour me my evening glass of wine. I miss being able to reach across the bed and hug him. I even miss his snoring!

I miss his daily proposal to me, “Will you marry me?” He asked me every single day for thirty-eight years. But most of all I miss dancing with him. That’s how we fell in love, dancing.

To our many friends who have lost their loved ones, I apologize.

I had no idea how difficult it would be.

Lynda

Paradise Lost - Lawrie Lock March 3rd 1942 - September 3rd 2018

Lawrie and I smooching at Sergio's

Lawrie discovered as a teenager that dancing was the best way to make a girl fall in love!
Anne Murray: Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
We danced to this song on our wedding day

I'll always remember, the song they were playing
The first time we danced, and I knew
As we swayed to the music, and held to each other
I fell in love with you

Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life
Could you be my partner, every night
When we're together, it feels so right
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life

I'll always remember, that magic moment
When I held you close, to me
As we moved together, I knew forever
You're all I'll ever need

Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life
Could you be my partner, every night
When we're together, it feels so right
Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life

Lawrie dancing with the carnival troupe

Elmo-Lawrie dancing and waving at local kids

Lawrie and daughter-in-law Maia

Michelle Wright - another favourite

I just realized tonight
You're not like all the others
Till now I never wanted love I only wanted lovers
Now me and you have things to do
And no time to be wrong
'cause life is just a circle and the circle ain't that long

You get one time around
One roll of the dice
One walk through the garden
One quick look at life
The time that you lose
Can never be found
The world keeps turning
You get one time around
You get one time around

Lawrie and his sister Linda Grierson

Brother in law Richard and Lawrie

John (Travolta) Lawrie Lock 

Dance on my love, dance on!

Mi romance de cuarenta años con Lawrie Lock (Spanish version of yesterday's blog post)

Normalmente se considera el paraíso como un lugar.

Para mí, el paraíso es una persona; mi esposo, compañero de aventura, viajero por el  mundo, amante y mi mejor amigo – Lawrie Lock. Nos conocimos en Junio del 1975, y para 1978, estaba completamente enamorada, mucho antes que él si diera cuenta que yo era mujer.

Estoy flotando en nuestra alberca de Isla Mujeres mientras planeo este artículo en mi mente, estoy mirando a Lawrie durmiendo en la recamara recientemente construida en la planta baja. Él está en la etapa final de “Rapid Onset ALS” o “Lou Gehrig’s Disease,” una enfermedad horrible que apareció en su cuerpo al final del año 2017.

´El está descansando en su cama estilo hospital que  se ajusta eléctricamente. Este hombre que ha tenido un rango de carreras diversas y negocios, es casi incapaz, solamente tiene el uso extremamente limitado de su brazo derecho. Su habilidad para hablar está disminuyendo rápidamente aunque su mente está activa y agudo todavía. También tiene dificultad para tragar. Su maldito cuerpo no hará caso a su mente.

Sparky, Lawrie y Max disfrutando un abrazo en el patio

 Construimos esta casa con las recamaras arriba nunca considerando que uno de nosotros no podría subir la escalera de caracol de 19 escalones al segundo piso.  Estuvimos muy orgullosos de poder subir y bajar la escalera una docena de veces o mas – haciendo cosas de la casa – sin cansarnos ni quejarnos de las articulaciones.

Nuestra recamara grande del segundo piso con su terraza amplia cubierta con techo de palapa fue nuestro escondite, nuestro nido.

Fue un lugar para disfrutar la belleza del Mar Caribe para platicar acerca de nuestro día , o quizás solo disfrutar una copa de vino y la comodidad familiar de estar cerca uno al otro. Hemos compartido este patio con nuestros gatos y perros; Tommy, Chica, Sparky, Perla, and Max.

 El lado de la familia de Lawrie

John Lawrie Lock nació el 3 de Marzo 1942 en Winnipeg Manitoba. Ha vivido la mayor parte de su vida en Columbia Británica.

Cada persona que conoce a Lawrie, mantiene una parte diferente de este hombre en su corazón - todos con memorias diferentes de cada etapa de su vida.

Sus padres John y Evelyn Lock, hermanos Linda Grierson y Richard Lock y sus familias.

Su hijo amoroso John, nietos Ethan, Evan, Caitlin y nuera Maia.

La familia de mi hermana Val 

Mis hermanas y sus familias en conjunto con las familias mezcladas de sobrinos y sobrinas, sobrinos nietos, sobrinas nietas.

Los viejos amigos, algunos a quienes Lawrie ha conocido desde que tenía 15 años. Los compañeros del trabajo que valoran su amistad y su perspectiva optimista de la vida.

Y los nuevos amigos que hemos descubierto desde  que nos mudamos a Isla Mujeres.

Cada persona piensa en imágenes diferentes de este hombre increíble con una sonrisa gigante.

Él tiene la habilidad para hacerte sentir que eres importante, que tus opiniones importan. Que tu eres su amigo.

Francia, Un tour de Europa en un Aston Martin

 Algunos lo recordarán como un hombre de carros, un hombre obsesionado con los carros clásicos, especialmente los carros temperamentales ingleses como los Aston Martin, Austin-Healey, Jaguar, Bently, y Triumph.

Otros lo recordarán como un voluntario bombero dedicado y asistente de ambulancia sirviendo por diecisiete años en Bowen Island en Columbia Británica.

Jefe de bomberos Lawrie Lock Bowen Island

Él fue Jefe de bomberos por los últimos seis años antes de mudarnos a la ciudad de Vancouver. Él también fue el representante del área para el Distrito Regional de Gran Vancouver a mediados de los años 1970 y el presiente para la cámara de comercio varias veces.

Algunas de sus multiples carreras incluyendo ser gerente  de algunas tiendas de negocios de la familia como Blink Bonnie Cosmetics, y Sight & Sound. Sight and Sound vendía instrumentos musicales, discos (sí 45’s y LPs), cámaras y televisiones. Sus familiares y él conocieron a celebridades como Bob Lummin, Conway Twitty, Ike and Tina Turner Bobby Curtola, Stevie Wonder, Roy Orbison, Lulu, April Stevens and Nino Tempo, Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass, John Gary, Santiago. (Las estrellas muy famosas a mediados de los 1960. Chécalos en sus celulares inteligentes.)

También Lawrie fue el representante de ventas para Panasonic por la mayor parte de Columbia Británica a principios de 1970. Y trabajó para la compañía que cesó su actividad actualmente la tienda departamental Woodwards.  

En Prince George, él estaba encargado de la construcción y las operaciones de la mueblería Ron Newson.

Se mudó a Bowen Island en 1974 con su primera esposa Pat e hijo joven y era el agente en Chevron Oil y el encargado de la gasolinera en Bowen Island.

Cuando nos juntamos a principios del año 1980, él inmediatamente pensó en varios nuevos negocios para que empecemos.

Bajo del nombre Snug Cove Enterprises, éramos dueños de Rusty Duck Antiques, Howe Sound Freight, y un mini-almacén. Glen Wolfe fue el encargado del servicio de reparaciones de autos en nuestra propiedad rentada cerca del estacion de bomberos.

Lynda manejando el camión de Rusty Duck Antiques

Me junté con el departamento de bomberos de Bowen Island en 1980 como la primera, y la única bombera  hasta ahora.  ¡Nadie iba a pelear con Lawrie sobre mi participación al departamento porque el era un trabajador por mucho tiempo del departamento!

También obtuvimos contratos del Distrito Regional de Gran Vancouver por la colección municipal de basura en adición al contrato por el mantenimiento y desarrollo de Crippen Regional Park.

¡Sí, es correcto! Él y yo con un empleado mas, incluyendo a su hijo John durante sus vacaciones del verano, levantamos los botes de basura por 8 años en Bowen Island.

Mil paradas cada lunes por ocho años. ¡Con sol, lluvia, granizo o nieve!

Mientras los amigos adolescentes del hijo de Lawrie estaban disfrutando sus vacaciones muy tranquilas, el hijo John aprendió a manejar camiones grandes de basura, tractores cortagama y un barco de carga Sealander.

Lawrie también fue el gerente del proyecto para la nueva primaria de Bowen Island en ese entonces y completó otro proyecto grande de una escuela en Telegraph Creek en el norte congelado de la Columbia Británica en 1980.

En su tiempo “libre” a Lawrie le gustaba restaurar y pintar los carros clásicos como una manera de relajarse. Una vez, nos sentamos con un lapicero y papel intentando de hacer una lista, incluyendo la marca, el modelo y el año de los vehículos que tenía, pero nos rendimos cuando el numero total alcanzó las centenas.

En los años antes de las llaves con alarmas (para indicar donde está el carro) muchas veces saldríamos de un centro comercial perplejos en el estacionamiento preguntándonos que vehículo manejábamos ese día. ¿Un carro? ¿Un camión? ¿Un SUV? ¿Qué color? ¿Qué marca?

John and TR6

John heredó un poco del amor para los carros de su papá, siendo dueño de unos carros interesantes cuando era adolescente, un Chevy de 1955, una Barracuda, un Buick convertible grande y negro y un Triumph deportivo rojo TR6. 

Ahora John prefiere montar las motocicletas de Harely Davidson en vez de los carros. (No estoy segura quien está mas loco, Papá o hijo.)

En Vancouver, mientras yo era la supervisora del Centro de Control SkyTrain, Lawrie y yo decidimos vender nuestras varias compañías  en Bowen Island.

Entonces, él intentó su primera vez para jubilarse.

Su jubilación duró exactamente 26 días antes de que estuviera super aburrido y me estaba volviendo loca.

Luego, él consiguió un trabajo con Air Limo manejando una limusina gigante gris. El vehículo muy largo fue demasiado grande y pesado para los frenos. Lawrie siempre era un conductor muy bueno, anticipando problemas antes de que pasaran pero a veces ese maldito carro fue muy problemático.

Él me ha dicho un montón de historias cómicas que podrían llenar un libro sobre personas regulares celebrando eventos especiales incluyendo las travesuras de varias celebridades, conductores de carreras, estrellas del cine y músicos. Es un libro que no era una prioridad mientras lidiamos su crisis de salud.

Desde Vancouver, nos mudamos al interior de Columbia Britántica, al Valle Okanagan, cuando empezó a ser famoso por el vino, vino verdaderamente extraordinariamente malo.  Actualmente el valle tiene mas de cuatrocientas bodegas, algunas que consistentemente ganan premios internacionales.

15,000 galletas para los huéspedes!

Mientras vivíamos en la región de Okanagan empezamos un boutique premiado Castle Rock Bed and Breakfast, sirviendo desayunos muy grandes de cualquier cosa que querían los huéspedes y regalándoles galletas horneadas cada día. Él era el master chef. Mientras yo era la mesera torpe que olvidaba todo, momentos cómicos.

Cuando su hermana Linda y cuñado Richard Grierson se mudaron al Valle Okanagan en 1994 nosotros 4 empezamos la cervecería Tin Whistle Brewing Company, que actualmente existe todavía, preparando “ales” del estilo de Inglaterra.

Junto con Lawrie, contratamos a su hijo John y al sobrino Jim Stansfield para ser nuestros representantes de ventas para nuestros productos. Richard, Linda, Lawrie y yo hicimos todo que teníamos que hacer: la contabilidad, preparando la cerveza, embotellando, la venta de la tienda, publicidad, limpieza, pedidos, festivales de cerveza, pruebas de tiendas de licor, y, y, y… Hasta que sus padres de ochenta años estaban pegando las etiquetas en las botellas.

Ales mas Kiler Bee en adición a Durazno y Crema

Para promocionar nuestra cervecería asistimos al Festival de Cerveza en Victoria en 1995. Lawrie estaba tan emocionado sobre el evento que le sugirió a nuestra buena amiga Donna Briggs que Penticton necesitaba un festival de cerveza. 

Donna y Lawrie combinaron sus energías y realizaron la idea. Lawrie estaba en la junta directiva por varios años.

La junta directiva que es muy capaz permite que siga el festival año tras año. El Festival de Ale Okanagan está celebrando su festival numero veintidós o veintitrés.

Lawrie limpiando los drenajes en la cervecería

Eventualmente, nos dimos cuenta de que ser dueños de una cervecería fue una experiencia de aprendizaje muy intensa, con muchísimo trabajo físico. Físicamente, movimos, cargamos, y cambiamos de lugar muchas  toneladas de grano y botellas y barriles. Nosotros, los 4 socios Lawrie, Richard, Linda y yo, teníamos entre los finales de los cuarentas hasta a mediados de los cincuentas. ¿Qué diablos estábamos pensando? Por fin, nos pusimos inteligentes y vendimos la compañía en 1998 a su dueño actual.

Todavía Lawrie no pudo aceptar la jubilación, así que su próxima carrera era ser gerente de restaurantes en el área de Penticton. Primero fue Villa Rosa, luego lo contrataron para ser gerente de Magnum’s on the Lake, y finalmente lo contrataron para ser el gerente general de Hillside Estate Winery y The Bistro en el distrito de vino actualmente famoso de Narmata Bench.

Mientras él estaba ocupado con los restaurantes, regresé a la industria de hospitalidad, siendo gerente en los hoteles.

El ultimo trabajo de Lawrie fue en 2008. Era el Director de Operaciones para una urbanización de condos y hotel, el Skaha Beac Club que fue propuesto para la parte del sur de Penticton. Entonces, la crisis económica llegó a los Estados Unidos y los fondos para los proyectos desaparecieron por todo el mundo.

Estuvimos en México en ese entonces disfrutando 3 meses sabáticos de nuestros trabajos en Canadá, experimentando la vida en nuestra nueva casa de la playa.

Septiembre 2007- Patricio Yam, las llaves de nuestra casa

Él recibió una llamada de su jefe que era un buen amigo también.

“No tengas prisa para regresar a Canadá.” El hombre dijo, “Mi proyecto está muerto. Diviértete y regresa cuando estés  listo.”

Nos encogimos de hombros, no estábamos preocupados. Él tenía 67, yo tenía 58. No teníamos deudas.

Regresamos a Canadá el 10 de Marzo, saliendo de un país soleado y caloroso, llegando a nieve hasta las rodillas.

Lawrie me miró y dijo, “Por qué estamos haciendo esto?”

“¡No lo sé!” repliqué con una sonrisa grande.

Agosto 2018-Lawrie y John compartiendo un buen single malte

Y aquí estamos. Durante los últimos cuarenta años hemos viajado entre treinta y cuatro y treinta y cinco países – dependiendo de quien está contando.

Tenemos familias fuertes y amorosas y amistadas profundas de apoyo que me sostendrán a pesar del hueco grande y negro que me dejará en mi universo por su fallecimiento eventual.

Amaré a este hombre hasta mi ultimo respiro.

Paris con el hombre a quien amo

“La vida no es un viaje a la tumba con la intención de llegar a salvo en un cuerpo bonito y bien conservado, sino más bien patinar al costado, completamente agotado, totalmente desgastado, y proclamar en voz alta: ¡WOW-- ¡Qué paseo! "

My forty-year love affair with Lawrie Lock (March 3rd 1942 - Sept 3rd 2018)

Lawrie and Sparky - before the ALS appeared.   

(When I first wrote this article he was still alive although struggling with the rapid progression of his disease: Rapid Onset ALS. He left us on Monday September 3rd 2018.)

Paradise is normally considered to be a place. 

For me paradise is a person; my husband, adventure partner, world-traveler, lover and best friend - Lawrie Lock. We met in June of 1975, and by 1978 I was heart-over-head in love, long before he even realized I was a female.

While I plan this article in my mind I am floating in our swimming pool on Isla Mujeres, looking back at Lawrie sleeping in our recently built main-floor bedroom. He is in the final stages of Rapid Onset ALS or Lou Gehrig's Disease, a horrific disease that first appeared in his body late in 2017. 

He is resting in a hospital-style electrically adjustable bed. This man who has had a diverse range of careers and businesses is almost helpless with extremely limited use of just his right arm. His ability to speak is rapidly diminishing although his mind is still active and sharp. He also has difficulty swallowing. His damn body just won't listen to his brain.

Sparky, Lawrie and Max enjoying a cuddle on the deck

We built this house with the bedrooms upstairs never considering that either one of us wouldn't be able to navigate the nineteen-step winding staircase to the second floor. We took great pride in being able to zip up and down the stairs a dozen or more times a day - doing household stuff - without any shortness of breath or joint complaints.

Our large upper-floor bedroom with its and spacious palapa-covered patio was our secret little hide-away, our nest. 

It was a place to enjoy the beauty of the Caribbean Sea, to chat about our day, or perhaps just enjoy a glass of wine and the familiar comfort of being close to one another. We have shared this deck with our various cats and dogs; Tommy, Chica, Sparky, Perla and Max. 

2015 - Lawrie's side of the family

Born John Lawrie Lock March 3rd 1942, in Winnipeg Manitoba he has lived most of his life in British Columbia.  

Each person who knows Lawrie holds a different part of this man in their hearts - all carrying different memories from each stage of his life. 




His parents  John and Evelyn Lock, siblings Linda Grierson and Richard Lock and their families. 

His loving son John, grand kids Ethan, Evan, Caitlin and daughter-in-law Maia. 

My sister's Val's family waiting to surprise her for her 75th

My sisters and their families plus the blended families of nephews, nieces, great-nephews, and great-nieces. 

Old friends some whom Lawrie has known since he was 15. Work colleagues that value his friendship and upbeat attitude to life. 

And new friends we have discovered since our move to Isla Mujeres. 

Each person holds different images of this amazing man with the huge smile. 

He has the ability to make you feel that you are important, that your opinions matter. That you are his friend.

1991 - France, on Aston Martin tour of Europe

Some will remember him as a car-guy, a man obsessed with classic cars especially temperamental British vehicles like Aston Martins, Austin-Healeys, Jaguars, Bentleys, and Triumphs. 

Others will think of him as a dedicated volunteer fire-fighter and ambulance attendant serving for seventeen years on Bowen Island in British Columbia. 

Fire Chief Lawrie Lock Bowen Island

He was Fire Chief for the last six years before we moved into the city of Vancouver. He was also the area representative for the GVRD in the mid-1970's, and Chamber of Commerce president for several terms.

Some of his many careers included managing a couple of the stores in the family-owned companies such as Blink Bonnie Cosmetics, and Sight & Sound. Sight and Sound carried musical instruments, records (yep, 45's and LP's), cameras and televisions. He and his family members met personalities such as Bob Lummin, Conway Twitty, Ike and Tina Turner Bobby Curtola, Stevie Wonder, Roy Orbison, Lulu, April Stevens and Nino Tempo, Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass, John Gary, Santiago. (Big name music stars from the mid-1960's. Check 'em on your smartphones.)

Sight and Sound with guest Herb Albert and Tijuana Brass

Lawrie was also the area sales representative for Panasonic for most of British Columbia in the early 1970's. And he worked for the now defunct Woodward's Department Stores. In Prince George he over-saw the building and operation of Ron Newson's furniture store.

Moving to Bowen Island in 1974 with his first wife Pat and young son John, he was the Chevron Oil agent, and Chevron gas station operator on Bowen Island. 

When we got together in early 1980 he immediately thought up a fistful of new businesses for us to start.

Lynda driving Rusty Duck Antiques delivery truck

Under the name of Snug Cove Enterprises we jointly owned Rusty Duck Antiques, Howe Sound Freight, and a mini storage. Glen Wolfe operated his vehicle repair service on our rental property located near the fire hall.

I joined the Bowen Island Fire Department in 1980 as the first, and to date, only female firefighter. As a long serving member of the department no one was going to argue with Lawrie about my inclusion as a firefighter!

We also held the GVRD contracts for municipal garbage collection as well as the contract for Crippen Regional Park maintenance and development. 

Lynda, Carl, and Lawrie 

Yep, that's right!  He and I and one other employee, plus son John during his summer holidays, humped garbage cans for eight years on Bowen Island. 

One thousand stops every single Monday for eight years. Sun rain, sleet or snow! 

As a teenager while his friends were lazily enjoying their summer holidays, son John learned to drive big garbage trucks, and swath-cutting lawn movers, and a Sealander freight boat.

Lawrie was also project manager for the then-brand-new Bowen Island elementary school, and completed another big school project in Telegraph Creek in the far-frozen north of British Columbia in 1980.

1948 MG TC 

In his spare time Lawrie liked to restore and paint classic cars as a way to unwind. We once sat down with a pen and paper trying to make a list, including make, model and year, of the vehicles he had owned but gave up when the total reached into the hundreds. 

In the years before remote key fobs many times we would exit a shopping centre and stare in bewilderment at the parking lot wondering what we were driving that day. A car? A truck? An SUV? What colour? What brand?  

John inherited a little of the car 'thing' owning a few interesting cars while still in his teens, a 1955 Chevy, a Barracuda, a big black Buick convertible, and a sporty little red Triumph TR6. John now prefers Harley Davidson Motorcycles instead. (I'm not sure who is crazier. Dad or son.)

John and his TR6

In Vancouver, while I was the supervisor at the SkyTrain Control Centre, Lawrie and I decided to sell off our various Bowen Island companies. 

He then tried his first stint at retirement. 

His retirement lasted exactly twenty-six days before he was bored silly and driving me nuts.

He then hired on with Air Limo driving a huge grey  limousine. The stretched vehicle was too large and heavy for the braking system. Lawrie was always a good driver, anticipating problems before they happened but at times that damn car was a tense handful.

He has told me a book-full of funny stories of just regular people celebrating special events plus the antics of several well-known personalities, race car drivers, movie stars, and rock stars. It's a book idea that is on the back burner while we deal with his health crisis.

15,000 cookies for guests!

From Vancouver we moved in 1992 to the interior of British Columbia, to the Okanagan Valley, when it was just beginning to become known for wine; admittedly extraordinarily bad wines. The valley now has in excess of four hundred wineries - some that consistently win international awards. 

While we lived in the Okanagan region we started the award-winning Castle Rock Bed and Breakfast, serving huge anything-you-want-breakfasts and sending our guests off each day with freshly baked cookies. He was the master chef. While I was the clumsy forgetful waitress; the comic relief. 

3 Ales + Killer Bee plus Peaches & Cream

When his sister Linda and brother-in-law Richard Grierson moved to the Okanagan Valley in 1994 the four of us created the still existing Tin Whistle Brewing Company, making British-style ales. 

Along with Lawrie we enlisted son John and nephew Jim Stansfield to be the sales reps for our products. Richard, Linda, Lawrie and I did whatever else needed doing: book keeping, brewing, bottling, store sales, marketing, cleaning, ordering, beer festivals, liquor store tastings, and, and, and.... We even had their eighty-year-old parents hand gluing neck labels on the bottles. 

Lawrie scrubbing out drains in brewery

To promote our new brewery we attended the annual Victoria Beer Festival in 1995. Lawrie was so enthused about the event he suggested to our good friend Donna Briggs that Penticton needed a beer festival. Donna and Lawrie combined their energies and got the idea off the ground. Lawrie remained on the board of directors for a number of years. 

The very capable board of directors keeps the festival ticking along year after year.  The Okanagan Fest of Ale, is celebrating its twenty-second or twenty-third festival.

We eventually realized that owning a micro-brewery was an intense learning experience, with tons of hard physical work.  We physically moved, carried, and shifted many metric tonnes of grain and bottles and kegs!  We, the four partners Lawrie, Richard, Linda and I, were in our late-forties and mid-fifties. What the hell we were thinking?  We finally got smart and sold the company in 1998 to its present owner. 

2000 Lawrie and I - Santa Claus for hotel staff parties

Still not able to cope with retirement Lawrie's next career was managing restaurants in the Pencticton area. First it was Villa Rosa, then he was hired away to manage Magnum's on the Lake, and finally he was hired as the general manager for Hillside Estate Winery and The Bistro on the now-famous wine district of the Narmata Bench. 

While he was occupied with restaurants I got back into the hospitality industry, managing hotels.

Sept 2007 - Patricio Yam, the keys to our casa

Lawrie's last job was in 2008. He was the Operations Director for the condo-hotel development the Skaha Beach Club that was proposed for the southern end of Penticton. Then the economic crisis hit the USA and funding dried up for projects world-wide. 

At the time we were in Mexico enjoying a three months sabbatical from our jobs in Canada, trying out life at our new casa on the beach. 

He got a phone call from his boss who was also a good friend. 

"Don't rush back to Canada." The man said, "My project is dead. Enjoy yourself and come back when you are ready."

We shrugged, we weren't concerned. He was 67, I was 58. We were debt free. 

We returned to Canada on March 10th, leaving a warm and sunny country, arriving to knee-deep snow.

Lawrie looked at me and said, "Why are we doing this?"

"I don't know!" I replied with a big grin.

August 2018 - Lawrie and John sharing good single malt 

And here we are. Over the past almost forty years we have traveled somewhere between thirty-four and thirty-five countries - depending on which one of us is doing the counting. 

We have strong loving families and deep supportive friendships that will sustain me despite the large black hole this man's eventual passing will leave in my universe.

We have loved deeply and lived an amazing adventure.  I'm not ready for it to be over, but his body says otherwise. He is slipping away a little more each day.

I will love this man until my last breath. 

2012 Paris with the man I love.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming:

                       WOW-- What a Ride!"

Attributed to Bill McKenna, Anonymous and in a Nissan ad.