How would the 'Social Butterfly' cope with COVID isolation?

Lawrie - forever 18 

In the quiet of my Canadian apartment, I often find myself wondering how my husband, Lawrie, would have reacted to the COVID pandemic that has forever changed our world. As many of you know, he passed away in 2018 and didn't have to cope with the draconian restrictions of this new era of little or no social contact.  I think Lawrie would have found the changes frustrating. 

Lawrie was so sociable that he was affectionately nicknamed the social butterfly. The family joked that, like his mom, he could have a conversation with anyone, including dead ants (that's ants, not aunts!). He loved hugging, dancing, and being around people. These are now forbidden activities or, at the very least, frowned upon in our new world. 

We retired in 2008 to live full-time on Isla Mujeres mainly because we enjoyed the warm, friendly, and very welcoming Mexican culture. As retirees in a foreign country, we didn't have a lot of responsibilities other than a little house maintenance and a few chores, so we hung out with friends and family. Island life, or more specifically, tropical island life suited him perfectly! Sun, sand, shorts, and happy people.

At the Soggy Peso, making new friends

Lawrie and I enjoyed spending the majority of our time together. Still, if he had been forced into isolation for several months with only Sparky and me to talk to, it would have been an unbearable hardship for him. He loved to visit our favourite restaurants and bars on Isla Mujeres for a tasty meal and a beer or two, but more importantly, just to chat with other people. To listen to their stories. To get to know them a little better. 

I, on the other hand, can be a bit of a hermit at times. And I rarely make phone calls, partly due to the echo of my father's voice nagging at his four daughters and Mom for being on the phone too much. Dad passed away in 1968, but I still can't tune him out. Weird, I know, but every time I think about phoning someone, Dad's voice starts nattering in the background about the cost of long-distance calls. Thanks, Dad, for that little anti-social oddity in my character. 

Mature-teenagers at the Soggy Peso on Isla

Then, with the COVID pandemic, there is the mask issue. Lawrie had a well-groomed beard. Wearing a mask in a hot and humid climate would have been a nightmare for him. I can hear him grousing now. I would have had to invest in earplugs for me, and perhaps, for Sparky. But, Lawrie being Lawrie, would have found an upbeat way to manage the situation. He didn't have many unhappy days in his life.

In March of 2020, I returned to Canada because I wanted to be in a country where I spoke the language, knew how to get medical assistance, and would be closer to my family. Due to the COVID safety protocols, I typically only see my friends about once every two weeks. Sometimes it is for dinner out, or a cup of coffee, or a visit to one of the local wineries. 

At the Burrowing Owl Winery with friends

Writing my new mystery novel, sorting my collection of digital photos, or promoting my mystery novels on social media keep me busy and feeling productive. 

Most days I walk Sparky four times a day, except for the two days recently when he had intestinal troubles and needed to go out - now - every 90 minutes. 

It was a sleepless two nights, but I finally got his digestive system settled down again, and we are back on our regular schedule. 

Nostalgia Winery, Oliver

It's interesting to note the different ways people cope with isolation and seclusion. Some of my friends have become super productive, creating a pile of artistic work to combat the boredom. 

One of my writer friends has produced four novels since March 2020. He's a writing machine. Other friends keep busy with handicrafts or learn new skills. Some create food masterpieces and share them with neighbours, like me. I happily oblige and eat their delicious offerings. Some have lost weight, others have relocated lost weight. We all know fat cells have GPS, returning time and again to the same owner. The balance of weight lost and weight gained helps maintain Earth's place in the solar system. It must be true. I read it on Facebook.

Living in a country with a decent road system and being the happy owner of a proper car instead of a funky little golf cart, Sparky and I have been taking road trips to visit old friends, my step-son and his family, and my sister and her family. However, since the weather has changed and winter has arrived - a month early - my road trips will be curtailed for a few months. Planning short road trips for 2021 will give me something to look forward to. In the meantime, Sparky has discovered snow! He thinks it is very entertaining.

Sparky, running in the cold white stuff!

For some, the isolation is tedious. For others, it's manageable. How about you? What do you do to cope with the boredom and seclusion?

Cheers, Lynda and The Sparkinator

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Isla Mujeres Mysteries Books #1-3

The second anniversary - Widowhood 101

In Paris, 2012

It has been a rough few days leading up to September 3rd, the second anniversary of Lawrie's passing. My emotions have been like a ride on a soon-to-be-condemned roller-coaster. Up, and down, and slamming sideways around the corners.

Over the past two years, I have made some progress in managing my grief, although the special occasions continue to be a problem. Halloween was our favourite fun celebration, and Christmas. Other dates, such as the anniversary of when we moved in together, our wedding anniversary, my birthday, and Lawrie's birthday, continue to haunt me. 

San Miquel de Allende

I also made some life-changing decisions this past year. First, I sold our home on Isla Mujeres to a very nice couple from Wisconsin. Then, Sparky and I moved to San Miguel de Allende in December 2019. San Miguel is a beautiful colonial city in the mountains north of Mexico City. It is a paradise for writers, artists, and historians. I thoroughly enjoyed exploring my new surroundings, camera in hand, for hours at a time. It seemed to be the perfect place for me to heal. 

But the world had other plans. COVID-19 arrived in North America, creating economic and emotional hardship for millions. As a new arrival to San Miguel de Allende, and without a strong support base like I had on Isla Mujeres, things could get a bit tough. So, I packed up my few belongings and returned to Canada on March 20th.

For five weeks, my best friends since elementary school days, let Sparky and me live at their house in the Vancouver area. Their two doggies played with Sparky, while the three humans tried to remain sane during the lockdown. We entertained ourselves with good food, wine, and numerous 'remember when' stories from our high school days.

Fortunately, son John and his family live nearby, and I was able to sneak in a few visits during the lockdown, and more regularly since the rules have loosened up a little. It's fun to spend a bit of time with an adult granddaughter and two grandsons. Where have the years gone?

Naramata Bench, Okanagan, BC.

In late April, I decided to move to the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia, where we had lived for many years before moving to Isla Mujeres. It's peaceful and beautiful here. Vineyards. Orchards. Lakes. Rivers. And people who remember both Lawrie and me. The transition was easier, and my heart has been slowly mending. I am finally able to savour a cup of coffee on my own and listen to music without turning into a mess. 

In the meantime, I kept writing and self-published three more novels: Temptation Isla, Terror Isla, and Twisted Isla. I am now working on the next idea. Writing keeps me from endlessly obsessing over my loss.

But then something happens, and my emotions run amok again.

A very nice man, whom I only knew tangentially, recently died from a rare bone cancer. He and his wife were happy together for twenty-one years, and now she is a widow. Her grief has sharpened my grief.

And, more recently young woman that Lawrie worked with years ago at Magnum's Restaurant in Penticton wrote to tell me of her chance encounter with him in April 2018 at the Penticton Regional Hospital. 

We had returned to Canada to double-check the medical diagnosis, and the specialist had just informed Lawrie that he had only a few months to live. The young woman was on her way to visit a family member in the hospital and accidentally got off on the wrong floor. She didn't know we were in Canada, or that Lawrie was sick. When she saw him, she stopped to chat, and he told her why he was there, sitting in the hallway of the hospital, contemplating life.  

This is part of her email to me, "When we were finishing up the conversation, I asked the woman at the desk where the room I was looking for was, and she told me I was on the wrong floor.

Lawrie and I just looked at each other. I said, "Well, I guess that it was meant to be."

He said, "Life's funny like that, isn't it?"

Had I not followed another nurse off the elevator that day, I would've never seen him or known he was ill. I was so unbelievably grateful for that serendipitous moment."

The young woman went on to tell me of the good memories she had of Lawrie as her boss and her friend. How he had been a strong and positive influence on her life. Lawrie told her that he had had a very full life and had no regrets, and how much he loved me. Stories like this are treasures.

My Widowhood 101 posts have connected me with others who are also suffering and just want to chat. It's good to talk and not keep the pain bottled up inside.

The downside is, my frankness rips open the partially healed wounds of others who love Lawrie and miss him.

It's difficult.

Lynda

Sparky and Lawrie, Isla Mujeres Mexico

Chihuahuas, chickens, children and clothing

A Pink Room make-over!

I had my hair done recently in San Miguel de Allende at The Pink Room. 

The calm, serene environment made me smile. 

It was nothing like my normal hair appointments on Isla Mujeres, where a parade of relatives, kids, and dogs, or even customers interested in buying clothes, ambled through my friend Amaranta Ancona Cerveras' home. 

She lived about a block south of my casa, and hair appointments were always an adventure. Behind her house were an assortment of roosters and chickens owned by a neighbour. The roosters didn't know they were scheduled to crow only at sunrise. 

They bellowed whenever they felt the need, which would set Amaranta's two ankle-biting chihuahua-security-alarms into a frenzy of barking and yapping. 

Neighbourhood chickens

Some days her large assortment of siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews would be in and out of her house chatting, searching for another relative, or wanting their hair cut in a particular way for the start of school the next day.

I always marveled at Amaranta's unflappable ability to, as Katie Cain once said, simultaneously manage at least four clients. She was efficient, quick, and inexpensive. Color, shampoo, cut, blow-dry, and you were on your way. 

At my request, Amaranta spoke only Spanish to me, to try and force my brain to hear the words. I usually understood what she was saying, especially when the story was accompanied by hand gestures and hilarious facial expressions. I miss my monthly entertainment.

Two chihuahuas and her son, a few years ago

Amaranta and her young family have moved to the colonial town of Izamal, near Valladolid. The move was to benefit her son, with a better education at a good private school. She works at the Tattoo Barber Shop G-P in Izamal, taking appointments for new and former clients. She returns to the island on a fairly regular basis to visit with her large and extended family and take care of long-time customers. 

However, for me, that doesn't work. I just have to get used to the peace and quiet. It's relaxing, but not nearly as entertaining.

Now, where did I put my glass of champagne?

Cheers from Mexico, Lynda 

Wandy and Olga on a warm summer's evening

Islanders probably remember Amaranta's grandparents, Wandy and Olga, sitting on their front steps and greeting passersby. Wandy recently passed away, leaving another hole in the fabric of the neighbourhood. 

~

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Revenge and romance on Isla Mujeres. 

Available in online books stores.

There is nothing like the fresh smell of sunshine-dried clothing!

Laundry day 

Driving around Isla Mujeres on a sunny day, you may notice many houses have a clothesline strung across the front, festooned with brightly coloured clothing snapping in the Caribbean breeze. It’s a custom that is acceptable in many European, Mexican, and Latin American countries, where clothes drying from rooftops and balconies is an art form. Yet, in other countries, it is considered to be vulgar, or low-class, to hang your laundry on the line.

Venice Italy 

How odd that standards have changed so dramatically since I was an elementary-aged kid, tasked with hanging the sheets, pillowcases, and garments on our backyard clothesline. 

In the warmer months, it was a pleasant task, but in the winter months, we also had below-freezing temperatures that created havoc with wash day. 

I remember laboriously hanging the laundry on the line and then, a few hours later, being directed by Mom to remove the stiff, frozen items as the temperature rapidly plummeted.

Isla - solar-drying

Here in Mexico, islanders who use a clothesline also learn to keep an experienced eye on the weather. A sudden squall off the ocean can ruin a day’s work in a few minutes – soaking the clothes, delaying the drying time, or entirely shutting down washday if the rain settles in for a few hours. 

When we first moved to Isla in 2007, I was entranced by the idea of line-drying our sheets and towels. I asked our builder, Patricio Yam, to install a rooftop line for me. Then for the next six months, I trundled up to the roof, carting my freshly washed linens, happily pinning them to the line. 

 

Venice Italy

Ah, fresh sun-dried sheets!  An hour later, I would return to remove the laundry…to find everything wrapped like fat sausages around the line, over and over and over again. Still wet. The Caribbean breezes had been playing games. 

Eventually, after fighting the wind and rusty clothes pegs that left indelible marks on everything white or light-coloured, I gave up. I now use our propane-fired dryer. It’s not the healthiest option for the environment, but on the windy side of the island, it’s the one that works best for me.

Environmentally friendly solar-drying 

Solar drying – yes, that’s the new socially-acceptable name for airing your gonchies in public – has many environmental and financial benefits. 

Of all common household appliances, electric clothes dryers are second only to refrigerators in energy consumption. 

France - not in the snooty neighbourhoods.

A natural gas or propane dryer is cheaper to operate, but electricity is still required to rotate the drum. 

So, why have some communities or individual strata developments banned line-drying? 

The most widely quoted reason is “to ensure aesthetics and make sure that the common areas and look of the building are kept neat and clean at all times.” 

There’s no arguing with tastes, but clotheslines can be beautiful. They are flags of freedom; freedom from dirty energy and expensive power bills.

Hopefully, the colourful clotheslines on Isla Mujeres won’t disappear entirely. They are so much a part of Isla’s character.

Cheers from paradise, Lynda and Sparky

~

Murder and mayhem
Revenge and romance in paradise!
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Why did you move to Mexico?

Mi amigas at Rosa Sirena's. 

Whenever I first meet a new visitor, their questions are frequently the same, starting with; Why did you move to Mexico?

The answer to that question is simple: Lawrie and I loved the Mexican culture; plus, living on a tropical island, just minutes away from big-city amenities, was a bonus. 

We built our home in 2007 and fell in love with the turquoise water, the pleasant oceanfront temperatures of between 20 °C (70°F) and 33 °C (95°F), the food, and the people.  

Looking toward Cancun from Isla.

The community of Isla Mujeres is close to the City of Cancun, only 20 minutes via passenger ferry, or about 45 minutes via a car ferry to the mainland. The island has an active group of retired, semi-retired, or still-working foreigners from the USA, Canada, and Europe. There is always someone available anytime you need company, a few laughs, or a good meal. 

With the explosion of new high-end eateries, you and your friends can sample their menus and not repeat your choices for months.

Chedraui grocery store. 

Isla Mujeres also has a variety of small stores that specialize in fresh chickens, pork, vegetables, fruit, and general groceries.  In 2011, a Chedraui Super Store opened, offering the islanders a wider range of food, wine, and baked goods. 

Cancun, with a population of approximately 900,000, has the obligatory shopping centers, big chains such as Costco, Mega Commercial, Soriana's, Home Depot, Sam's Club, and Walmart. You can find pretty much anything you want, but not every time. The stock changes with the seasons of the year, as well as during gringo-season when the northern homeowners return to their tropical homes.

More of my wacky, wonderful friends.

Turkey, cranberry sauce, and canned pumpkin typically start appearing again in late October in time for the American Thanksgiving celebrations and Christmas. Not many store owners understand that Canadian Thanksgiving is in early October. It’s today, actually, and our feast features pretty much the same foods. The original immigrants to both Canada and the USA came from the same ethnic backgrounds. 

Back in the 1700s and 1800s, my immigrant ancestors settled in what became Nova Scotia, Manitoba, and Saskatchewan in Canada, plus the future American states of Maine, Indiana, and Louisiana. I could celebrate both Thanksgivings, but that would be too much of a good thing.

Dr. Greta Shorey, housecall

On Isla, there a several English-speaking doctors and dentists. The doctors in Mexico still make house calls, and their services won’t break the bank. If you have a serious medical issue, Cancun has several excellent and affordable hospitals staffed with American-trained doctors.

There are also well-trained dental surgeons who specialize in dental tourism, such as Dentaris in Cancun. You can get your dental work done, in between tanning and quaffing margaritas. Their driver shuttles the patients from their hotels, the airport, or any of the passenger ferry docks to their clinic on Bonampak Avenue in Cancun.

And when you want to visit family, friends, or another foreign country, Cancun has easy air access to and from major airports worldwide.

Sparky, enjoying an October swim.

However, it’s not always margaritas and sunshine. Sometimes things just don’t work out as planned. 

The local water and sewerage company spent the entire summer digging up the road on both sides of the island to install new water connections to the many large homes being built in the Punta Sur area.

Then the second part of the contract was to connect those new homes to the sewer system. The new trench was dug right through the water and the electrical connections, cutting off all services to many homes and blocking their driveways. 
It was a nightmare for the homeowners.

If you plan to retire here, come with an open heart and a sense of humor; otherwise, the administrative silliness will make you crazy. 

Some people can't adapt to life in Mexico. Some couples break up because one of them can embrace the culture, but the other one can't, and returns home.  

It’s Mexico! Stuff happens!

Cheers from paradise, Lynda and Sparky

(Originally published October 13th 2019)

~

You Won’t Be Able to Put This One Down!

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101 things to do on a beach

Locals enjoying the sunrise

What can you do when you are surrounded by the beautiful turquoise Caribbean Sea?

Start your day with the sunrise, or maybe you are headed to bed after being out all night dancing. After all, it's Mexico and the parties last until dawn.

The sunrises here are usually spectacular unless it happens to be one of those rare cloudy days, and even then, the sun might give you a multi-coloured light show as the glowing orb clears the horizon before disappearing into the clouds.

Enjoying the beach before the crowds arrive 

Go for a walk on the beach while enjoying your morning coffee, smoothie, or whatever other beverage you want to start your day with. 

While you are out enjoying the early morning calm, you might see the beach cleaning crew raking the sand, sifting for discarded cigarette butts and bottle caps, picking up trash and removing potentially dangerous overhead coconuts. 

If you happen to have an extra bottle of water with you, pass it along. These folks start work at sunrise to make the beaches clean and tidy for the next round of sun-worshipers.

Coconut removal crew 

Get your towel, sunscreen, sunglasses, a bit of money for food and drinks, and don’t forget your reading material. 

May I recommend some enjoyable beach reads? My Isla Mujeres Mystery novels are entertaining mysteries set on this fabulous little island. Murder and mayhem. Revenge and romance.

Head to the beach and claim your favourite spot.

Order lunch from one of the many beachside restaurants and bars. 

The wait-staff with happily deliver it to you. Don’t forget to tip, but please no foreign coins, including American or Canadian. Coins are only valuable in their country of origin. 

Find your favourite spot

For instance, American coins are only good in the USA, and occasionally in Canada and then only at face value. Canadian coins are only good in Canada; Americans will not accept them. 

Euros are only good in Europe; Americans and Canadians don’t accept them. 

Okay, you get the idea. Using the currency of the country you are in is always the easiest solution.

Great place to people-watch 

People watch to your heart’s content. 

There are beaches for sunning and swimming, beaches where fishermen repair their nets, clean and sell their daily catch, beaches for surf-casting, beaches to investigate the under-water inhabitants, and beaches where on windy days the enthusiasts for kitesurfing, bodysurfing and regular surfing play in the warm waves.

Windy day - surfs up

Then wrap up your day with a long leisurely dinner at a beachside restaurant while watching the sun sink into the ocean. 

If you are lucky, you will get another vibrant display, the kind that we refer to as a “Tony Garcia Sunset.” 

Captain Tony seems to have a natural instinct for when the light, clouds and atmospheric conditions are optimum for producing the best technicolour displays.

The peaceful beauty of a tropical sunset

Okay, so not exactly 101 ideas, but we’ll leave you to come up with your own plans as you enjoy the white sand, the turquoise ocean, and the clear blue sky.

Hasta Luego, Lynda, Lawrie, Sparky, and Max

           Isla Mujeres Mystery series! 
                    Available as e-books, paperbacks, and hardcovers.

Just photos. Our computer is malfunctioning in the wet & humid weather!

Sunset view at Ballyhoo Restaurant

Fun colours at the top of Hidalgo Avenue

This one is on Juarez Avenue

A couple of blocks south of our house

Another fun combination

We'll hopefully be back in operation by next Friday!

Cheers, Lynda, Lawrie, Sparky, and Max

Isla Mujeres Mystery series

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